You’re looking to lose a bit of weight, but hopefully not this way! The inventors of these diets all claim that their system will help you lose weight, but you’re too smart to fall for their outrageous claims, right? They don’t tell you at that their weight loss methods are unhealthy and may even make you sick, so avoid them at all costs!
30. Lemon Juice Diet
All you’re allowed to drink for up to two weeks on this diet is lemon juice with maple syrup and cayenne pepper, salt water, and herbal or a laxative tea. You’ll definitely cut back on fat this way, but you’ll also be eliminating all protein and other essential nutrients you get from a well-rounded diet. What a great way to get severe headaches, diarrhea, nausea and rotten teeth!
29. Cold Water Diet
True to its name, all you do for the Cold Water Diet is to drink large quantities of ice-cold water throughout the day. It’s supposed to fill you up so you don’t eat as much. Beware of water intoxication and hyponatremia (dilution of sodium in the body)!
28. Black Coffee Diet
Even coffee lovers will find this one hard to stomach. Drink one cup of black coffee for breakfast without eating anything else until lunch. Then, drink as much black coffee as you wish throughout the day suppress your appetite. Caffeine is supposed to make you eat less, but it will also give you indigestion, keep you stressed out, and make it harder for your liver to detoxify.
27. Alcohol Diet
You need to ditch your meals and hit the bottle, instead for this one. Good bye sobriety and hello liver disease!
26. The Red Bull Diet
Ready to fly? Drink ten cans of Red Bull a day and limit most solid foods. How much sugar and caffeine do you think your body can handle before it crashes?
25. Popcorn Diet
Replace all of your snacks and some meals with plain popcorn. Now how is this supposed to work? Oh yeah — plain popcorn is so boring that you’d rather starve yourself!
24. Chocolate Diet
Add up to an ounce of chocolate to your preselected dinner. Huh? How does that help you lose weight?
23. Cookie Diet
Replace all your snacks and every meal except dinner with cookies. The goal is to eat 6-8 cookies a day. Well, at least Cookie Monster would approve.
22. No Fat Diet
You can eat food, but absolutely nothing that contains fat. That leaves you with carbs, fruit and veg. But hey, you can eat as much sugar, salt and artificial flavors as you want! This will leave you totally ravenous all day, because fat is essential to satiate your appetite. You also need fat to properly absorb certain vitamins.
21. Twinkie Diet
A nutrition professor in Kansas ate Twinkies every three hours, along with a few vitamins and vegetables, and lost 27 pounds doing it. But imagine what all that sugar does to your body!
20. Orange Diet
You eat oranges and small quantities of bread with little else for this one. You might lose weight, but you’ll have serious headaches, rotten teeth and digestion problems as an added bonus.
19. Five Bite Diet
You can eat whatever you want, as long as you can down it in only five bites, for three times a day. You’ll be on the right track for getting constipated, indigestion, diarrhea and vomiting.
18. Ear Stapling Diet
Staple your ears and lose weight, according to Chinese acupuncture. Ouch!
17. Sleep Away the Pounds Diet
Why bother being awake when sleeping is so much more effective at helping you lose weight? All you have to do is sleep, all night and day. After all, isn’t that how Sleeping Beauty kept her figure?
16. Candy Diet
All day, you get to eat as much hard candy as you can. Enjoy anytime and anywhere. You can even enjoy it at the dentist’s office, where you’ll be most of the time to fix those rotten teeth.
15. Jello Diet
How much Jello can you eat? How about eating nothing but sugar-free Jello for two weeks?
14. Ice Cream Diet
Imagine eating ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, with nothing else on the menu. Kidney stones love all that calcium, fat, and sugar!
13. Donut Diet
Eat donuts all day long and nothin’ else for a diet of pure sugar and fat. This one is absolutely ridiculous!
12. Mating Habits Diet
Eat food based on its mating habits. Huh? Someone, please explain this one!
11. 1-Day Diet
How much weight can you expect to lose in one day? You might lose water weight, but as for fat, you’ll lose NOTHING! Weight loss doesn’t work that way.
10. One Good Meal Diet
You’ll need to eat one good meal at night, and two very, very light meals consisting of a fruit or some protein powder. But with all that undigested food sitting in your stomach when you go to bed, gas is a huge issue with this one.
9. Mastication Diet
The Mastication Diet or “Fletcherism” is all about chewing — you’ll need to chew one bite of food up to 100 times before you swallow. So, how long is your lunch break?
8. Last Chance Diet
The inventor of this diet only consumed Prolinn, a liquid that is made from keratinous offal, which is the hooves, horns, and tendons of animals. You can’t get Prolinn at the store, but you can make it yourself. Yum yum!
7. Vision Diet
Anytime you want to pop something in your mouth, put on special blue-tinted glasses. The blue tint will naturally suppresses your appetite…so they say.
6. Pocket Diet
Eat whatever you want, but make sure it can fit inside a pita pocket. Chocolate bars, fried chicken, cheesecake…that’s all fair game, right?
5. Kill-It-Yourself Diet
Enjoy whatever you want to eat, as long as you kill it, butcher it or harvest it yourself.
4. Hallelujah Diet
Eat right, the Bible way! Your diet has to be 15% cooked and 85% raw.
3. Tapeworm Diet
Eat all you like and still lose weight by hosting your very own tapeworm! Your little tapeworm will take care of all of those extra calories and fat. Of course you’ll also be at a higher risk of getting a disease and need a doctor to remove it, but hey, it’s a small price to pay for being (deathly) thin and unhealthy.
2. Cigarette Diet
Puff away to experience the appetite suppressing benefits of nicotine. But while you’re slimming down, you’re blackening your lungs and prepping yourself for cancer and emphysema.
1. Breatharian Diet
Air can be so nutritious, can’t it? It’s free and you can get as much as you want, without limits! Air is all the sustenance you need, if you’re a plant.
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